A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize
