Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
