omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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