I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize