watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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