Me too!
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
