i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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