Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
sarcasm needs its own font
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
