And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
my poor anus
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
