So drunk its hurt
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Randomize
