My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
