tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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