My room smells like vodka and shame
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
