Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Your cock deserves a montage
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
