you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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