We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Randomize
