I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
