i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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