I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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