I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
