whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
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I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
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