Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
