I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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