happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
