Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
