Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
