So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
