We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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