so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
