I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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