Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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