Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
