well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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