eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
