I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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