i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
