a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
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Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
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I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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