i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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