why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
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So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
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Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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