So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Randomize
