Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
