his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize