Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
