you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize