Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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