Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
