I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize