yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I just googled if crying burns calories
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
