she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
