Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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