Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize