Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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