I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
