just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I looked at my own cervix.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
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