I didn't shave. On purpose
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
