idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
