My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
