Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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