im having a threesome with these popsicles
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
we should paint friendship bongs
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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