so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
